Talking to Myself

Closed eyes reveals myself more than eyes wide open. Adnan Kakazai.


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Believe and Belief

Problems, depression
Helplessness, Pain
Playing with us
Challenging our
Believe
And
Belief

What I am
Conveying
In loudness
In silence
In despair
With intuition
Not heeded
By you

In this
Distressed
Time
I believe
In you
But
Belief
Of yours
On me
I challenge

This time shall
Also pass
Only with
Believing
And
With a
Belief
On each
Other

Understand
We must
Believe
And
Belief
Only points to
Who we are
And
What is our
Existence

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In you…

Sitting in front of me
Tiredness dictating
The body
Tresses curling back
Hunger, want, love
On
Eyes and Lips
Wearing blue with
Bangles talking
On movement of hands

Suddenly
Eyes change color, moving
Hand resting the tired face
Wish that hand is mine

A desire outflows
Through eyes
I knew for what it is

Freeze the moment
I said to myself

Passion is for
To be with you
Always

But
Already I am

With you
In
You


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Dependency – An energy booster or a silent killer

All our lives we are dependent on others one way or the other. These dependencies are there throughout the different episodes of our lives and with passage of time change gravity, magnitude and above all path. As George Bernard Shaw puts it “Independence? That’s middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.”

This world awaits us as we open our eyes; we are directly dependent on our parents and at that time particularly on mother. She is the learning ground, the starting point of a long journey ahead in which there are sunlight’s, shades, hurricanes and azure skies. Though we can’t remember a single second passed on those dependency days/months but we are always in a process of absorbing different shades of life as we pass through spring, summer, autumn and winter, some may be good and worth remembering and other to be forgotten as soon as possible though we know this at very later stage of life. Also, we don’t know the gravity of dependency on mother at that time and may be once we grow up we still don’t know that.

The school, college, university and crossing through the teens we somehow do feel that we have got all the things now and we have overcome all the hardships of the life and at that particular moment we feel that we are something. We at that stage of life are on crossroads of leaving the dependency of the parents and somehow wanting to be dependent by ourselves. But a silent dependency on parents will remain there at this stage of life also which we normally don’t think that actually we are dependent on parents for settlement till we don’t get a job or a life.

Then in job, being independent, we feel on the highest ebb of our lives, all things seems to be working, all things happy and most of the time at the early stages money is always enough for a single person to carry out things in the life. Dependency on that stage is somehow in the middle because at this stage one feels that now there is at least no dependency on anybody. But silently we are dependent on that stage also. On fate, on luck, to set us on a path which leads to a better life, better future.

Then love, marriage comes in one’s life. This stage is as critical as the previous one but dependency here on your love, partner will not leave you till your grave. Here the dependency is everlasting and like pervious cases when the dependency transfer from one to other and so on, here at this stage there is no transferring of dependency, here you are dependent on your partner to carry you through to the hardships of the life, to be with you in all the circumstance to make you feel that yes, you can depend on me and I will not let you down. Life and events become complicated as well as easy if the person on whom you are dependent is your wife and love at the same time though the nature of complexity or the easiness varies case to case.

So no matter what, we are dependent on one way or the other on persons, on love, on fate, on luck. It is at the same time a silent killer and an energy booster. Everybody wants to be in the zone of an energy booster because at the middle and later stages of life one need dependency actually and if that leads to give you more strength, motivation, make you feel strong then indeed life pass smoothly though may be not a common thing now-a-days. I hope to be on the side of energy gaining rather than energy losing. As John Gray puts it “Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.” (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

Having said all this, there is a most critical stage still remaining, as both husband and wife, companions will have to be old at a stage in their lives and then story of life take a unique turn. Now may be both if living together, or one (if one died in a long journey together) are/is in turn depend on children to be with them for the rest of their lives. A circle completes here, back to square one but curiously, the outcome of that dependency is not exactly known by all as there is a very thin line to be dependent on that stage on children on whom you have put all the golden years of your life or as one can say, nursing/elderly aged old houses are made for a purpose and may be one of that is waiting for us also or maybe not.

Preferably as mentioned, dependency on the energy booster side, only a wish one can make that the real dependent companions may leave this world together so that the long journey which starts when both start living together, struggle, children, and life may end together as it was once started together. Nobody wants dependency to be a silent killer.


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Leaving one Entering other

Time pass, life goes on; things sometime are in our favor and sometimes against us. We go through pain, happiness, joy, sorrow. There are many experiences when life is full of pain and our body sometime can’t take the intensity and the wound, cut which that pain brings deep into our souls.

When there is a time or a time will come with nothing is in front of us, when even pain become tired of inducing more pain in ourselves, at that particular time, most painful things which are inside us, leaves us and we for a very short period of time become void of pain. We feel happy and joyous, relaxed (maybe) and content (maybe). Pupil dilate and we see all that cannot be seen as we somehow become capable of seeing through the souls of people around us.

It is the time to leave this-worldly world, and in very short period of time, the calmness which surrounds us, will end soon. We at that time in actual prepare ourselves to leave in whatever capacity we can for another destination, where we don’t know for how much period of time we have to be there.

May be for some, they have to take the maximum pain in this world, so that (maybe) there is no pain as we cross the line, leaving one entering other.


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Sunrise over Karakoram Range, Pakistan.

Throughout my travel, one thing I like the most is to take photographs from the window seat of an airplane. The time which I like the most to take the photographs is the sunset or the sunrise. Those moments of the day are one of the most beautiful when seen from up in the sky. Though for such kind of moments one has to be awake in a time when most of the passengers on the airplane are usually sleeping.

The following photographs are from my flight EK322 from Dubai International Airport(DXB) to Seoul Incheon International Airport (ICN). I was flying Emirates Airline onboard Boeing 777-300ER. It was an early morning departure from DXB and the sunrise was over the Karakoram Range, place of one of the most exotic mountain ranges. Being seen the Karakorum Range on road, it was a wonderful feeling and experience to see the same from up in the sky.

As flight departed I went to sleep, crossing Pakistan and knowing that I have to take photographs, I suddenly wake up and saw the first picture from the window. It was breathtaking, a cold december morning over the Karakorum Range. I took the photograph and the subsequent ones as we fly over China towards our destination. It was a long flight but the experience of those moments was indeed wonderful.

Sunrise over Karakoram Range, Pakistan.EK-322, DXB - ICN

Sunrise over Karakoram Range, Pakistan.
EK-322, DXB – ICN


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What remains is only…

White blanket
Of snow
Crystals reflecting

High glass
Windows
Curtains folded

Burning fireplace
Wood on fire
Radiating heat

Rugged antique
Persian carpet
Wooden floor

Books, Music, Movies
Reading, Writing
Watching

Coffee, Chocolate
Drinking, Eating
Crystal, China, Silver

What
Remains
Is
Only
A
Wish
!


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One or Zero

One
Plus

One
Equals
Two
Equating
To
The

True
One

Life
Moves

Forward
True
One
Equates
To
The

Divine
One

Age
Cements
The
Trueness
Of
The

True
One
With
The

Divine
One

On
Culmination

Of
All

What
Remains

Is
Either

One
Or
Zero

Completing
The
Circle
Of
Life