Talking to Myself

Closed eyes reveals myself more than eyes wide open. Adnan Kakazai.


Whole and Nothing


Presenting a
Searching vs. Finding

Search is
Finding will
Not embrace

One pursuit
After other
Filling emptiness
Leaving emptiness

Indeed no
Fairy tale

To be
Is to gaze



Inspired by words from Hakim Sanā’ī Ghaznavi (1080 – 1131/1141) “Be whole, and Nothing” translation by Coleman Barks.


Conversation with Allah – II

I said: Why I am always taken wrong
I think that my sincerity is challenged always
Allah replied: Why you always concerned about this
Why you want your sincerity to be acknowledged

I said: It makes me angry at times
So uncharacterized of what I am
Allah replied: Why you let dominate the darkness in you
Why you always lose your patience

I said: Am I dark from inside?
Void of patience
Allah replied: Everybody has darkness, some dominate it
Some let darkness dominate them

I said: But then where are you, watching, doing nothing
Letting darkness and evilness rule me
Allah replied: It is not in your capacity to understand
Wisdom takes sometime more than a lifetime to come

I said: Yes, I know you always say this when
You don’t want me to understand
Allah replied: I choose whom to make understand
The crux, the intensity, the gravity of things around and inside you

I said: That is why I feel lost and nobody is there for me
Nobody is concerned about me
Allah replied: If you keep moving away from me
If you think others are not concerned, then fault is with you

I said: Then why loneliness surrounds me, helplessness dominate me
Feeling like I have fallen from great heights
Allah replied: Falling is only the beginning of what might come
Eagerness to know before time is not sensible

I said: Then what about the love inside me, no help from there also
It sometimes, like all, move away from me
Allah replied: Why you think that I am not aware of your capabilities and capacity
May be I have saved your love for something special

I said: Well I am for long listening to this something special
Do you think that with time I am getting strong, no I am not
Allah replied: Something special is always in nothing at all
When you will lose all you will gain all

I said: Again you saying be patient, be strong, be on a path
There is indeed light, not seen yet though
Allah replied: Why that is you always want all the things in this worldly world
Don’t you know in actual when life will start?

I said: I want to be happy, being loved and be in love
For what life I have in this world, a bit of luxuries I don’t mind
Allah replied: Why you don’t understand what is inside you
Think of it when others sleeping, it is above all other things

I said: So what is the bottom line, the decision
Leading me to some tranquility
Allah replied: Capture your tranquility from deep inside you
Nurture it; never let yourself degrade your own self

I said: When I talk with you like this, yes very rarely
I always start weeping
Allah replied: I know this, I know you weeping
When the time will come, you will understand this also


This is second in the series of what might come more in future, this very rare conversion can become a more frequent one, let’s see how life unfolds of what is remaining…

The first one: Conversation with Allah: