Talking to Myself

Closed eyes reveals myself more than eyes wide open. Adnan Kakazai.

Correlating life…


On asking what are you doing now-a-days, I with a pause, talked with myself for a while and answered. Nothing as special which might get the attention of people around me, life going as on a normal pace with all concentration on the present, saying to past, get lost and to future, I don’t trust you at all, so when the time will come will see what lies there.

After sometime, again the same question I asked to myself by myself, what kind of time you are passing? I get this answer which I also conveyed to the first person who asked the question and that is:

We are always in a kind of race which is often with our own self, the people around us; the society in which we live, family and this goes on. Nothing new in this as this is happening for as long as this world came into existence and will go on like this in future also.

Life around me is like as I have three horses which are like three conditions, scenarios, and a thinking which can be in every person’s mind in some nook and corner. Nobody wants to address it and if in any case addressed then just for the sake of it. So I correlate life with three racing horses.

The first horse is now quite old, all day sitting and eating. Consider it as bad luck; this horse never became a prodigy in racing. He does not have any accolades to his name. It is like he is narcotize and now just waiting for his time to over and then maybe some relief will be there for him.

The second horse, gets up runs for quite some time and then suddenly gets tired, sits and often sleeps. I always give quite an attention to this attitude of his and closely monitor it also. I wish that when he starts running then there will never be a stage that he has to just shut down his energy deliberately or otherwise as I want him to excel. He has eagerness, want and desire in his eyes but I could not understand why he is like this, may be, as per life going around him he always takes a dip into a stage of helplessness and unhappiness.

Now the third one, my hope, my possible source of pride for the future and my eyes are like fixed on this horse. He is taking shape, growing, with eagerness, desire, want and an energy which can outflow any other whoever dare to race with him. All day I watch this horse, he wants to get out and run as all the races are there for him to win. I know he needs a little bit more attention as I feel if he is discouraged or not favored at this stage maybe he can be like the other two-horse which I don’t want at all. I am meticulous not to repeat those mistakes which I did for the others two. But then I may be doing all the things right, only coming time will tell if he will be able to achieve what he in himself thinking and what I think for him.

My all day pass in the company of these three horses and I keep a very regular schedule of feeding them all, whether, the first, the second or the third. I can’t only love the third one as the other two feel in no moment. I try to keep saying all the three, don’t you worry I am not leaving any three of you which than only leave my heart happy and sad at the same time.

In all the circumstances, you by no means can leave all three scenarios like the three horses, the past, present and the future, but for the sake of life spending in a proper and dignified way, the only hope you can get for your own self is best in the present, and to some extent the future if you by any chance can perceive it correctly. This leave us with past, which will be there with you throughout your life for the lessons which you learnt or try to learn or knew all the time but even then can’t simply learn.

Treat your past as that is a tool which you try to learn to have a good present nothing more than and this in return you can only convey back to your past. Present is there in your hand, nourish it with desire, hope, happiness and an eagerness to excel though not in ones control to do all together but then life is a fight and a good fighter never leave the battleground. Embrace the future for the possible union of your desire, happiness, success and love. Amalgamate all this and feel an energy feeling inside you that can lite your eyes and make your heart to beat as you like it to beat with life, which in the end can possibly be “Life with Myself”. You never know it might end with a fourth one, the space is empty may be anxiously and eager waiting to be filled or may be not.

Author: Adnan Kakazai

A hobbyist photographer who likes to travel...

2 thoughts on “Correlating life…

  1. May be the fourth one is after life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s