Talking to Myself

Closed eyes reveals myself more than eyes wide open. Adnan Kakazai.


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Amazed I am…by Mansur Hallaj.

Amazed I am on myself and you
The zenith of my desire

You blessed me proximity
Till I thought that “you” are “me”

I lost myself in getting you
Till you made me destroyed in myself

Oh my blessing in my life
And after burrial my relaxation

Without you I have no present
You are the only one in my fear and in my peace

Mansur Hallaj (858 – 922).

(Translation: Adnan Kakazai – errors/ommissions regretted please)



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Love is simple…

Image Copyright: Adnan Kakazai

Image Copyright: Adnan Kakazai

Love leads you to a path, which is different, with hurdles most of the time, self-annihilation, sacrificing all the happiness of life except the happiness which is with love. It is a submission, a total surrender to the one whom you love as you yourself don’t want to do a thing on your own. It is what other say or even think, just need to fulfill first the desire of the other, and that is what matters.

In modern days’ time, with the world around us offering a very supersonic way of how to spend life, as we all are just too much dependent on the clicks, swipes and status updates that we are going away from the very basics of life and in that one very basic is love. We and the generation to come is just void of love, they treat love as a wastage of time, they don’t like to be dependent on others in love, they don’t want somebody rule them as in love, and simply they don’t want to be possessed which is a basic ingredient of love.

Is there any Romeo Juliet present now-a-days who showed us from the very basic definition of love to the utmost extreme a person can go whoever jumps in the river of love. I see eyes, I see gestures, I see people but where are those eyes that can pierce into your soul, that can see through the inner most core of your existence and tell you what you are, how pure you are, what you want and what you want to be? What are you made of and what capabilities you have? Yes, such traits are always conveyed to you by your love if it is true, pure of the highest possible level. Is there a thing like this now-a-days?

At the same time we are not now used to pains and suffering and in love if you don’t have pain or suffering it is simply not love. Modern day humans simply don’t want any pain or sufferings, enabling me to suggest that they might even then don’t want to be in love. They want a partner who don’t interfere in their lives, gives them a lavish life style, money to spend and children will grow mostly on their own without knowing what their parents are doing. They before committing to spend life together want a life style much more lavish, ostentatious, and luxurious than their parents eliminating from very start all the basic ingredients of love from their lives.

Love also walks away from those people who have no space for love in their lives. But love hunts; it hunts souls with purity, desire, compatibility to absorb, capability to display and capacity to take the hardships. Love is not for ordinary people, it is for special people who are not judged by the false standards of living but for the character, the thinking, and they in a very broad sense always have an affinity towards the religion, they have a will, and a form of blood running in their veins which knows what a sacrifice is, how to get at that stage and how to make full use of it.

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Image Copyright: Adnan Kakazai

People in love are out there, simply they are hidden, minority, too afraid to show as they know no one will understand. They simple don’t want anybody to take them lightly so it is better to be silent then make people understand because if there is a soul in search of love, love at the end will hunt and capture that soul. No one in modern time will understand that in love pain is together and it does not matter who first got it, the second person is bound to get it. No one will understand that a simple breath you take is so synchronized that sometime you will breathe with the others heart. No one will understand that happiness is not always alone, it is always together. No one will understand the level of relaxation, contentment and tranquility which you attain only by hearing one or two words of other and the rest is just meaningless. No one will understand that distance in love is always squeezed to just nothing and time is like a time dilation phenomenon. The time spent together is what time is and the rest is just a life-less life which you spend for the sake of spending and that is it. Are such people living who can understand all these facts? The answer is a yes.

Those who are swimming in deep waters of love need to encourage the pure souls standing along the water afraid to jump. Those people need support and a clear will that life sometime is not all about status, success or anything else, it is contentment and love is the only way to give contentment to a soul who will ultimately one day will leave your physical body and it will only carry love on a journey ahead and nothing else.

Lastly, and coming to an affinity towards relegion, we are getting away from God also. On a broad sense and making it all logical, loving a human is the very first stage to love God and submitting all to Him. The wise people before us had conveyed to us in their poetry, in their writings and through their way of life that how they made it all quite understandable by just moving away for what we are most attracted to. This they achieved through love which then at the end only lead to the love for Him which is what it is. The highest pinnacle of one’s life may be the purpose for which a soul is sent in this world. May be one in millions will or has attained this stage now-a-days but whoever the lucky one is, for that human world is just a blink of an eye, the real and the most wonderful is yet to come and is quite content to spend this temporary life which only need a micro second to pass.

Love is very simply to understand, don’t make it complicated like we are used to do with our lives and the life around us.

Image Copyright: Adnan Kakazai

Image Copyright: Adnan Kakazai


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Meeting of souls…

Suddenly

I found myself

On a new road

A direction

More vivid and strong

A sun brightening the path

And trees comforting with cool shades

All the way

A clear sky

Glancing through the clouds

A feeling of spring

Colorful, inducing change

A breeze offering fresh fragrance

With each step

Greenery soothing eyes

And then

Mind flashed with a thought

Leaving me wonder

May be meeting of the souls

Is on the same

Path

Photo credit: Gideon Chilton (www.flickr.com)


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For Life to be Life…

His powers make a life… Life-less in parallel to make a life – life (Image by Adnan Kakazai)

His powers make a life…
Life-less in parallel to make a life – life
(Image by Adnan Kakazai)

He

Gives life…

In life and after – life

His powers make a life…

Life-less in parallel to make a life – life

He in his own decides

A life to

Flourish

Or

Wilt

Even then

We don’t have the courage

To leave all to Him

For Life to be Life


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Correlating life…

On asking what are you doing now-a-days, I with a pause, talked with myself for a while and answered. Nothing as special which might get the attention of people around me, life going as on a normal pace with all concentration on the present, saying to past, get lost and to future, I don’t trust you at all, so when the time will come will see what lies there.

After sometime, again the same question I asked to myself by myself, what kind of time you are passing? I get this answer which I also conveyed to the first person who asked the question and that is:

We are always in a kind of race which is often with our own self, the people around us; the society in which we live, family and this goes on. Nothing new in this as this is happening for as long as this world came into existence and will go on like this in future also.

Life around me is like as I have three horses which are like three conditions, scenarios, and a thinking which can be in every person’s mind in some nook and corner. Nobody wants to address it and if in any case addressed then just for the sake of it. So I correlate life with three racing horses.

The first horse is now quite old, all day sitting and eating. Consider it as bad luck; this horse never became a prodigy in racing. He does not have any accolades to his name. It is like he is narcotize and now just waiting for his time to over and then maybe some relief will be there for him.

The second horse, gets up runs for quite some time and then suddenly gets tired, sits and often sleeps. I always give quite an attention to this attitude of his and closely monitor it also. I wish that when he starts running then there will never be a stage that he has to just shut down his energy deliberately or otherwise as I want him to excel. He has eagerness, want and desire in his eyes but I could not understand why he is like this, may be, as per life going around him he always takes a dip into a stage of helplessness and unhappiness.

Now the third one, my hope, my possible source of pride for the future and my eyes are like fixed on this horse. He is taking shape, growing, with eagerness, desire, want and an energy which can outflow any other whoever dare to race with him. All day I watch this horse, he wants to get out and run as all the races are there for him to win. I know he needs a little bit more attention as I feel if he is discouraged or not favored at this stage maybe he can be like the other two-horse which I don’t want at all. I am meticulous not to repeat those mistakes which I did for the others two. But then I may be doing all the things right, only coming time will tell if he will be able to achieve what he in himself thinking and what I think for him.

My all day pass in the company of these three horses and I keep a very regular schedule of feeding them all, whether, the first, the second or the third. I can’t only love the third one as the other two feel in no moment. I try to keep saying all the three, don’t you worry I am not leaving any three of you which than only leave my heart happy and sad at the same time.

In all the circumstances, you by no means can leave all three scenarios like the three horses, the past, present and the future, but for the sake of life spending in a proper and dignified way, the only hope you can get for your own self is best in the present, and to some extent the future if you by any chance can perceive it correctly. This leave us with past, which will be there with you throughout your life for the lessons which you learnt or try to learn or knew all the time but even then can’t simply learn.

Treat your past as that is a tool which you try to learn to have a good present nothing more than and this in return you can only convey back to your past. Present is there in your hand, nourish it with desire, hope, happiness and an eagerness to excel though not in ones control to do all together but then life is a fight and a good fighter never leave the battleground. Embrace the future for the possible union of your desire, happiness, success and love. Amalgamate all this and feel an energy feeling inside you that can lite your eyes and make your heart to beat as you like it to beat with life, which in the end can possibly be “Life with Myself”. You never know it might end with a fourth one, the space is empty may be anxiously and eager waiting to be filled or may be not.


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An atom I am

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An atom I am
Such nothingness
In the nucleus
You resides
No separation
No chance even
You enjoy
My existence
Focal point
And
I enjoy
To house
You
In that nucleus
In that nothingness
Of the smallest
Entity – Atom
I remain with
You
Breath to Breath


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My…

My heart
Only alive when
Resonates with your heart

My breath
Only synchronize when
Taken with you

My eyes
Only see when
As you see

My pain
Only when all
Your is mine

My sleep
Only when
Head in your lap

My happiness
Only when you
Laugh with eyes

My desire
Only when you
Burn for me

My dreams
Only when you
See the same

My present
Only when you
Are with me

My future
Only when you
Guide it

My destiny
Only when you
Paint it

My life
Only when you
Take its ownership

And union
Only as what
Reality is
Together